Days Gone By

It's a funny thing having had this blog for so long.  I feel like I lived through the heyday of blogging and having more than a few readers (I never really allowed myself to get that big though) and all of that... stuff.

Now, I know I've waned in my writing and posting and I know blog readership isn't what it used to be.  Or it's different anyway...

But I still have that sense in my head of "don't write things you don't want someone to read."  Which as I've talked about before, makes it hard, sometimes to write.

I've had one case that I know of, of someone breaking my trust and showing my blog to someone (when I specifically asked it stay anonymous) and that someone having a reaction that really really turned me off of being open and honest and real.  I still feel threatened knowing that person who reacted in that way may be reading these very words.

But I also know that there are probably fewer people reading this currently irregular blog than there were half a decade ago, so I try to tell myself to just write.  While still knowing that this is no longer a safe space for me.  If it ever really was...

I do miss feeling free to just babble and I am trying to get myself there, but I'm also wary.  And (perhaps overly) cautious.  And I'm disappointed.